Tuesday, January 23, 2018

It's Okay {my afternoon}





I'm in several young writer's groups now, and I end up on the older end of the age range in most of them. I tend to mildly 'big sister' them, especially during a writing event month. I post reminders and encouragements and offer virtual hugs as needed. It's something I'm pretty good at, and it's useful for some of the members.

This week has been challenging for me, personally. It's been hard and I've felt so worn out and tired. I had a panic attack (full blown panic attack, it was pretty bad) this morning when I realized I hadn't written at all yesterday, and only a couple sentences the day before. I'm not doing any yearly writing challenges this year and I've actually met my January goals about a week ago, so I couldn't figure out why I was panicking about it, but once my buddy got me calmed down and I was okay, I was able to sit down and do some journaling. That satisfied whatever it was that had prompted the panic attack. 

This evening, I was just feeling really discouraged and down. So I squished my anxiety about saying anything and asked in one of my writing groups for some encouraging quotes, memes, whatever. 

The response was pretty overwhelming and I was actually finally able to cry, which I hadn't managed yet. After I had a good cry I felt so much better. I felt refreshed and clear-headed, I could think properly, my body was relaxed and didn't feel like it was falling apart on me. 

It just really reminded me that no one here is an island and that it's totally okay to need help and to ask for help. I often have this whisper in the back of my mind that says you don't need to bother anyone with that and sometimes, I let it decide things for me. But tonight I didn't, and I'm so very thankful that I didn't. 

I feel ready for my day tomorrow and I'm looking forward to the handful of projects I have lined up. 

-Annie 



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